Confusion leads to Cancer

Where did I get it that when you think of your dilemmas too much, or that when you keep a big secret to yourself it does confuse your cells; And therefor it makes you prone to Cancer?

Oh, I remember, from an Aga Mulach and Claudine Baretto movie I've seen some years back...

But is it true? Dunno.

Maybe stress makes you more Cancer-prone. Maybe it doesn't. What am I pointing at?

Well, I apologize to my cells but I can't help it if they get so confused at this time. 'Cause I myself can't even seem to eliminate some things that give me head/heart ache. Aargh.

A former President of the Philippines' recent demise makes me think, I don't want to get such disease.

Maybe I need to stop it, stop confusing myself; it's not healthy -- literally (if the confusion-leads-to-Cancer theory is true).

But how? Deep inside i feel I still needed some answers. I still demand some explanation. Some sort of confirmation that it had to be ended. And that there is no where to go but forward. Move on.

But maybe I will never get it. I just might be too delusional to hope that something great is still waiting to happen.

I'm tired of it honestly. I'm trying to eliminate the thought as much as I can. But the fact that it enters my head almost every time makes it so annoying.

This I know: Joy counters stress. Prayers take away confusion.

So I hope I don't get too caught up with these questions in my head and pay for the price 10 years from now.

Geez, when do I ever learn. Anyway, Moving on --

I can't wait!... Anxiety attack!

I can't wait to watch Angels and Demons... Unfortunately I didn't get to last Friday, I didn't expect Greenbelt Cinema is going to be so full. From 8:30 screening to the LFS which is 12 mn, it's all reserved. And it was like shown in 4 Cinemas in Greenbelt at the least. Crazy. Miriam Quimbao and her foreigner date was lining up behind us and I bet she didn't get to watch it either. Maybe they just opted for Terminator...w/c I don't think is that bad at all.

I was definitely frustrated that time. (plus the fact that i lost my wallet and had my ATM card blocked that night. Jeez! anyway...)

To clarify, I'm no fan of Dan Brown or any of his works. Not a fan. I read Digital Fortress and I swear that is just it. I appreciate maybe the effort that he puts to research facts to write in his novels, but as a writer...not a fan. 'Nuff said. But I can't wait to watch this film (A&D) cause I've read some reviews (good and bad) and I reckon it's gonna be big on religion and politics. Topics that I really don't favor much but certainly arouses my interest.

Plus, Tom Hanks is one of my fave actors, since Forrest Gump and Philadelphia, so yeah... I bet it's gonna be worth 150 pesos. And I can't wait to write a critique about it. Good or Bad doesn't really matter. I bet it's worth my time.

Hmm...But I didn't get to watch Da Vinci Code though. I already had an idea what it was about since it was sort of a spin off of Holy Blood, Holy Grail but I've no idea about the characters and what the last film left off. I hope I'm not missing so much since this is a sequel to it. Or is it? some say it came first. Anyway...


If there is Illuminati and New World Order and attack to The Vatican involved, I'm there. Gonna buy the biggest Popcorn.... haha...

So, I might watch it tomorrow. yeepee. Ako nlang yata di pa nakakanood. I'm gonna treat my sis pra may hatak ako... wahaha....

Another movie I'm SO anxious to watch is....tentenenen.... Half Blood Prince!

OMG it's gonna be showing on July... ^_^

Self-confessed Harry fan, I'm sorry.See you at the Cinemas.

SMS Mode...

SMSing one night...


guy asked "honestly, do you find anyone interesting in the office?"

girl replied" what do you mean interesting?" "like I-want-to-be-with-him kind of interesting?"

guy confirmed "yeah" 'like more than friends sorta thing"

girl confused "Hmm...I dunno... why?"

guy shares "cuz I like someone in the office..." (still remains a secret)

girl asks"okay, who is she?" and adds " No one. nothing to be curious about "
(meaning: girl doesn't find anyone interesting... [really?])

....

hello mornings!

Im so proud of myself. For the past weeks, I've been trying (my best) to wake up early so that I'll have enough time to catch a coach (FX) to go to work. I realized that for the past 2 years that I have been working I been taking a cab almost every blessed everyday. And man, I only work in Ortigas. Will not even take a 30 minute drive from Makati.

So every morning, I convince my lazy-ass self that I have a goal, which is to get to the office on time and not run on my 3-inch heels on a Monday morning to catch the elevator, curse when I miss it, just to get to my station on time.

Goodness me, I could have just saved the 100 pesos that I pay for the cabbie for the past 2 years and top up my fone. To think, minsan Incoming lang ako....haha! But no worries. I've come to my senses now. It's never too late, eh?

And it doesn't stop there. I so love my mornings now that I get to read a good book (which I'm about to finish...Butcher Boy...kinda morbid verging on grotesque nga lang) while I'm on my fx ride and I get to walk merrily while listening to music on the busy streets of Emerald Avenue to get to Orient Square Bldg without even rushing.

Haay..Morning Bliss. And when I think of the money that I save... HAHA!

"I still have 15 mins to spare before my shift, Im a grab some latte" haha.

gastos din. Ysa talaga.

Anu Na?

this is definitely one of those spur-of-the-moment thing that we all do.... head full of thoughts that need to be out, released somehow... dialogues lingering on my head for days now. no, might've been weeks. i should have done this, shouldn't have done that. could've been more of this, could've been less of that. then maybe it would've been like that, not like this. lines that I want to be said but dunno how to. and dunno if it's better not to.... maybe.


all the shoulda, woulda, coulda's...but no matter. it's over now.

or is it? (-_-)

as i increase the volume of the loud music i'm listening to, i write this blog. cause im trying to write this with lesser emotion as possible cause if not it will be overly melodramatic.

so partially numb w/ the sound, i'll keep on writting. it's better this way. anyway, this blog is just as vague as my thoughts are right know so I pity those who will be reading this crappy blog, they will not get anything from it. haha...

the person who i want to dedicate this blog to probably wont even know that it is about him.... or her? just for vaugeness' sake. haha. alright. so?

Anu na?

Ewan. i guess i'm just gonna have to wait see...

Abangan ang susunod na Kabanata...

OBAMANATION

Cheers to the newest elected President of the United States of America, Mr. Barack Obama.
He is the first black President in the history of America and the 44th elected president of the White House.

Obama promised "Change" to the people that is why he captured the hearts of his fellow Americans. And with his famous line "Yes, we can!" even Hilary Clinton vowed to him.

I mean, you'd be a fool if you didn't hope for change after the Bush Administration, C'mon!

We are yet to see what Obama can do to save the most powerful country in the world from the nation-wide crisis it is experiencing right now. And of course, as citizens of the Philippines, we are gravely affected by the crisis along with almost all the nations of the world.

Hmm..Truth is, after George W. Bush, anyone who would assume his throne will be a "good" choice. Anyone. We all know what happened to America after Bush took over, two terms and what did he do? Bombed Iraq? 9/11 Conspiracy?

Alright, this blog is not intended for Bush and his crappy leadership.

Congratulations to the new President Elect, Barack Obama!

I so appreciated the tv special Abs-Cbn did to capture via live streaming, what was happening in Washington, DC. 2 million people gathered just to show their support... withstanding the cold weather.

Hopefully the next years of his rule with do good to USA and to the whole world...

Well "God Bless America!"

And if he turned out to be just like Bush...well, we can always throw a shoe at him....!


Cheers!

Otherwise

I'm okay...

No,I'm not.

Of course I am.

Fine.

And even if, say I'm not okay, I know soon I will be.

I just need to let this pass. Just let out a big *Haaaaayyyy* and it's gone...

Or maybe just sleep on it and tomorrow it won't be there anymore...

How I wish.

So stupid how few lines I read from somewhere can make one feel so... unsure.sad.

Again, it's happened.. I've told myself before not to entertain such.

But damn me, I'm so stubborn. And I never learn.

But just like an addict, without it you won't survive.

Why is it they say we shouldn't ride the horse that threw us the first time?

Maybe because of the obvious reason that you don't want to get hurt again...

But what if the second time becomes a better ride? then good.

But How would you know if you won't try?

But what if it gets to that point that you get thrown off too often you became numb to the pain?

Is there a difference if you give up now versus when you should have not continued in the first place?

Then what are you still holding on for?

I don'tknow. And that's what I don't understand about you.

It's frustrating, Yet it's amazing how you do it.

Well it's your ride so goodluck, have fun.

I just hope when you fall again I'd still be there to pick you up...

Or it can be otherwise --

Bitter ka ba?

Bitter ka ba? Wahaha ako hindi….

But I heard this on the radio some days ago and it made me laugh real hard! as in rolling on the floor laughing! ROTFL!

Sabi nung DJ n girl “Pag tinanong ka kung bakit kau ngbreak ng boyfriend mo…” or “kung bakit ka xa nagtwo-time…” (some thing to that effect) eto sabihin mo…

..Ayun, npressure sya sa Ganda ko, naghanap ng lower-level of Creation…

Wahaha…i didn’t say it, Nichole-legiala did….

anyway, it’s so funny…wahaha…

i know it’s mean but it feels so good to say that!

i can’t get over it…i better sleep now… you know, beauty rest…hahaha….

Cheers mates!

XOXO

Fringe

And due to the recent petty accident that i got meself into, i had to stay at home to get better for almost three days and be absent from work. (almost 3 days coz i went to work, half-day on the 3rd day)

Almost three days off... away from the office, from bills,from my mates, from few annoying folks...hehe... in short term I was stuck at home with nothing much to do. I'd love to go out but I can't...duh...I have an injury... tsktsk....

So what I basically did was went online as much as I could and fulfill some online obligations...hehe... Hell, i believe I even got the brilliant idea to come up with this blogspot during those days... I've plenty of time see?

Aside from visiting the doctor and having my check ups, that's pretty much all i did in those two, almost 3 days. Went online, eat, doctor's visit, online again, eat some more... and oh, a lot of sleep.

But it's a needed break I guess, work can be so toxic at times, let's admit that. Altough it hasn't been a holiday at all, I had both of my knees slightly bruised and swollen that standing up straight is already tough ta do. *sigh*

Uhmm, what else? Oh yeah... And I guess If you're like me that ideas and creativity are just overflowing all the time (hehe... peace mates!) you have to have a way to channel it out some how. Aside from blogging....I let out all my 2-days worth of restrained aggression thru my hair.

Yep, I've cut it. Just my fringe though. I realized life is too short to stay in a certain hair cut for too long so I decided I wanted to have a full bangs.

And oh, I forgot to mention, I've been reading the Death Note Manga, online of course. Dunno where to get the real thing... if you do pls tell me.... here in the Phil ha? Checked Comis Aley, they don't have it eh, too bad... Anyway, here's a link for those who wishes to read it online, It's awesome by the way... Death Note Online Manga...Wicked!

So, moving on, so full of segues... my apologies... I was so inspired with Misora Naomi and figured out that I wanna have her hair cut....wahahah.... It might not have came out the way I wanted it to, but hey.... Change is good. So... Thanks Naomi for the inspiration...




So there... my Misora Naomi inspired fringe...

Cheers!

Breaking A Habit

They say old habits die hard...

How irritatingly true is this statement? *sigh*

What d hell am I trying to say here? What else?

.....I'm late again....

As always....

if I only get up a little earlier or sleep earlier the nyt before then i can save on my fare instead of taking the cab every single day...

well, we'll get to that... I gotta break this habit... I can do it! AJA!

(Im sleepy, my apologies. my sked has been friggin' hectic lately. will do a more substantial blog as I meant it to be...maybe 2m, last day of the week..)

=)

Cheers mates!

27

before, 27 is always a special day. every 27th of the month, every Sept 27th of each year, for almost 5 yrs it has been that way, simply special, in every sense of the word.


now though, it's just an ordinary day, like this day. I'm at home, sitting in front of the PC, blogging and checking random stuff on the net.


pix taken the day I bought Mark his Ipod Video, my last gift for him. It's not a 27 tho, but it was an early monthsary gift. my last gift cause we didn't reach the next month's 27th. =)

Memories... they will always be with you and they will never leave you. it might bring tears back, it might bring laughter to your face, whatever feeling it brings....it represents something that happened in your past. And it's not going anywhere. You can't go back tho, but it's okay to revisit them memories.


I don't believe in burning pictures, throwing away love letters, killing teddy bears... just because it reminds you of someone from ur past. Letters are still in a box, Teddy still sitting on the shelf w/ the rest of his kin, albums still intact... I guess I'm not bitter at all. =)




But is it wrong to still keep pictures and letters? I dunno...you tell me. But don't get me wrong, I've moved on. Really. And so has he.



Oh I see, maybe because of the fact that I'm still single at the moment that's why I believe it's okay to post pictures of my ex...walang magagalit eh. Coz if I'm with somebody right now then of course I'd be thinking twice.


But you see it necessary for sharing. haha. For supporting documents. hehe.


Translation goes: Hon I miss you...I miss your kisses. Your hugs. Your smile. Your laughter... I miss talking to you, you talking to me. I miss your pag-iinarte...Your pout. Your pang-aasar... Hon, I miss you...I want you by my side always. I want to end my day with you. And wake up beside you....

(sweet noh, kainis?)


The reason why I keep those photos of him is because Mark is not just an ex boyfriend. He used to be my best friend, my second dad, my older brother, my buddy, my pet, my koala bear, my pillow, my everything...


He represents a huge part of my life and of who I am today. I learned a lot from that guy. he thought me to be brave, to love, to fight and eventually to let go.

So, whatever happened to Mark and Ysa, to 27, I can't just throw it all away. And I won't. I've forgiven him for everything, and i've set him free. But actually by letting him be free, I let myself be free... I live and breathe my freedom now thanks to him.... So why the hell can I hate him for that?

I don't pretend to be the strongest coz I'm not. Maybe 5 months back I was crying my eyeballs out every night... But I refuse to be a victim, I learn from it. And I'm not being bitter though I have the right to be... Cause I'm simply in a better place in my life. I've no room for bitterness and hate now.

I believe God has greater plans for me than what I have for myself. Before, I just thought I 'll get marriend in two years, and continue to do the things that I've been doing.

But looking at my life right now, I would never have imagined I'd be where I am right now. I've been twice more matured, happy, loving, forgiving and I just appreciate everything in my life right now that used to be over looked before.

I realised I'm not getting married for the wrong reasons... just because I was in love and I want o spent the rest of my life w/ that person....because I imagine a house and a bunch of kids with him...not doesn't seem to be enuf reason for me now.

If I'm gonna get married in the future, I will because I've already done every thing that I want in life and that it's time to get married. If it comes to that point then my prayers would be different from what they are right now. Then I'd be asking God for the right person that I will spend the rest of my life with because it's time to build a family with him and show Him that my youthful days are over.

(teka time out, now I'm talking about marriage? I thot this blog is going to be about 27?)
*Sorry for the Segue*

As a conclusion, I love number 27,wherever i see it it still makes me smile. In the movies, in books, at the streets....not because of a certain person, but because it represents a happy memory.

9- 27- 03... 9*3=27 2+7=9

Tryke Accident

26-10.


I was going to nearby mall, Market! Market!, to bring my laptop to PC Express and try to get some help downloading the Microsoft offices. Just the day before, I purchased a Home and Student Windows Offices 2007 which cost me 3, 800 php so my mom can use it for the business their trying to run and my sister Audrey can use it on herschool projects.

Anyway, I had a difficulty downloading it from the CD installer cause I still had the Trial Versions on my pc that I had downloaded from the net months ago. I didn't want to take any chances so i just brought my pc in and asked for help from the friendly Kuyas at PC Express.

So where's d accident now? Oh....Alright....

On my way to the said mall, as I was riding this Tricycle (and I'm on the back ride) a taxi approaching us suddenly went so fast that the driver of the Tryke had to avoid it by making a quick swerve. And in like a split second, we hit a post really hard that made the Tricycle topple over.

OMG, I was at the back ride, with no protection at all, holding a laptop bag on my lap, listening to Death NOte music on my MP3 and before I knew it we were crashing.

Everything happened very fast. When I realized what was going to happen, I was somehow able to keep my balance as i hit the floor like Catwoman with my two feet and my left hand preventing me from kissing the ground, my PC clutched by my right hand to my chest.

But even so, I couldn't stop d vehicle from falling on top of us so I just tried to cover my head. Good thing the driver was quick enuf to jump off the vehicle and was somehow able to hold the Tricycle from completely caving in on us.

I was brought to my knees and I was hit at my back by the weight of the vehicle. The three people inside the sidecar, two ladies and a kid, were almost thrown out. And the kid that I was sitting beside with on the back ride was almost lying on the ground, holding his forehead and his tummy.and was brought to the nearest hospital after the incident. No one died of course. No one got any serious injuries (I hope). As for me, I only suffered from semi bruised knees. Tho my back hurt a little.
...
I was in a state of shock that when ppl started to swarm on us and kept asking us if we were alright, I couldn't speak at all. I reckon I just walked away from the scene as if nothing happened... And then I called my mom. haha.

What a night. I'm still lucky I didn't lose a finger, didn't break my back, my neck, didn't bruise my face ( ^_^) Thank You God!

Whew, lesson learned. If your destination is not that far, maybe it's better to just walk....

*wahaha*